Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Mission Trip Update

There are more important things in life than arguing over who wronged whom in the latest round of A&E vs. Duck Dynasty, and it saddens my heart that so many people are missing out on the true meaning of Christianity. The worst part on either side is those who are judging and throwing stones, they are in the wrong. Jesus did not come to create divisions among his people, but to save us from our sins. “For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.” (John 3:17)
The bible clearly teaches what are sinful acts and guess what, we are guilty of committing them. I am not any different, as I am a person struggling with sin daily. The punishment of these sins is death, but thankfully we have a God who is mercifully and sent His perfect Son to pay that price for us. “For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23)
This is the perfect example of sacrificial love. This is the same kind of love that Jesus calls us to share with us others; however, when we are too busy judging others whom we are not fit to judge. We are not loving each other in the manner with which Christ calls us to love. In fact, we turn people off to the gospel and then they miss out on their eternal salvation. Paul, in his letter to Corinth, tells us how to love. While in modern day we often think of this as a love between a husband and a wife, this is how we should love everybody, regardless of their sins. Because if we love them and show them Jesus’s love, then Jesus and Jesus alone can change someone's heart and help them repent from their sins. Judging and shouting harsh condemnations, or making blanketed social media statuses, do nothing but harden a person heart to the Gospel.
Jesus tells us that our great commission is to spread the gospel to the ends of the earth (Matthew 28:19-20), but we get too caught up in telling others how they are wrong that we forget this. I am making a humble effort to try and change how I live my life. I am trying to fulfill, as best I can in my sinful nature, the great commission.
As many of you know I was supposed to go to Haiti in January to help spread the gospel there, but unfortunately due to corrupt politicians and an unstable situation that trip was cancelled. God had a different plan for me, he has opened the opportunity to travel to Thailand on a mission trip.
Several of you donated money to help send me to Haiti, I plan on using this money to travel to Thailand instead. If you are not ok with this decision please let me know and I will return the money to you. I am truly humbled and blessed by your support. I ask that you pray for me, as well as the rest of the team that will be heading out from South Side Baptist Church in June. God calls us to love one another and to spread His gospel for the redemption of all people. We can only do this when we submit our lives to his will and love others as he first love us.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013


So, I completed my first triathlon on 27 June. It was a great experience and a very humbling one. I embarked on this journey in an order to help raise money for a mission trip I am planning on going on with South Side Baptist Church.

When I started this trip I was unsure of where the Lord was leading me. All the love, support, and prayers that all of my friends, relatives and long lost friends have poured out on me have blown me away. Your encouragement has been truly overwhelming and humbling. So, thank you! I truly hope that because of your support and God’s plan that I will be able to make a lasting impact for His Kingdom on my trip.

Currently Pastor Jacques of the Haiti Bible Institute is facing a threat from corrupt government officials. I would ask that you pray for the Lord to work a miracle and protect his mission work.  I am looking forward to getting the opportunity to serve the Lord, thank you for again for all of your support!


Saturday, October 5, 2013

I Was Blind

I Was Blind

This past Father’s Day, Katie got me a book on tape to listen to because she knew I would be traveling a lot! It was by the counter and cheap so she just grabbed it. This book has significantly changed our lives for the better. The book is Radical by Dr. David Platt.  In the book it address the idea of biblical Christianity versus how we treat Christianity in today’s American society. Today we like to take scriptures like “Go and make disciples of all nations,” and say that doesn’t apply to me because I was not “called” to missions; but, if we are truly following Christ, then that is exactly what we should be doing. The entire New Testament is full of commands that we do not get to pick and choose which ones we want to follow. They are all important because they all come from God.  I fear that one day I will end up in front of Jesus and hear these words “Not everyone who says to me ‘Lord, Lord’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my father in Heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and cast out demons, and do mighty works in your name?’ And then I will declare to them,’ I never knew you, get away from me you workers of lawlessness.” (Matthew 7:21-23) 

I have prayed that the Lord would open the eyes of my heart, so that I would become a better follower of Jesus.  Through this journey I have been awakened to my blindness to God’s commandments. I thought I was not called to certain ones, but I now realize that a follower of Christ I am called to follow Him with all of my actions, thoughts and I do not get to choose with commandments I want to follow but I must follow them all. 

South Side Baptist Church is going on a mission trip to Haiti. I feel called to go on this trip to help fulfill Jesus Great Commission: “then Jesus came to them and said.’ All authority on heaven and earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of every nation, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey all that I have commanded to you.  And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:18-20)

As a way to help raise the money necessary for this mission, I am going to be doing a series of triathlons. I would ask that you would be in prayer for how you could support and sponsor me in my competitions so that I may have the opportunity to help bring glory to God in all nations, and spread the Gospel so that all people may have the opportunity to hear the good news! If you would like to sponsor me, you can send a check to South Side Baptist Church, 1425 S 7th St., Abilene, TX 79602, with my name in the subject and Haiti mission trip. All donations are tax deductible.  

Thank you and God Bless, 

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Letting Go

Over the past few days I have been overcome with emotions. Taking an adventure to Cabot, AR stirred emotions in me I hadn’t acknowledged for quite some time. You see, when I drove away from Cabot nearly 3 years ago it wasn’t under the most pleasant of circumstance. Yes, the blessings that have followed have been abundant, and life in Abilene is filled with incredible joy, memories, friends and love. Please do not think for a second I am unhappy in Abilene. I am not. That being said, it was not our “choice” to leave Arkansas.

Three years ago our family dealt with a nightmarish year filled with lawyers, judges, court dates, legal interviews, and eventually the right guy at the right time to hear our story and help us be able to live together as a family, which meant moving to Abilene. (That’s the “Cliff’s Notes.” If you want details please feel free to ask I love telling the story because it is a part of the incredible testimony of how great our God is!)

So, three years ago I drove away from Cabot with no reason to ever return. So with that drive I treated it as if I were to look back I would be a pillar of salt, and I didn’t look back. I focused on the positive and left the trauma behind me. Fast forward to this past Friday morning as I entered Little Rock. I saw it’s skyline, and the River Market, then I passed the McCain exit in North Little Rock, the LRAFB exit, and finally I took the exit for Cabot, AR. The town my new marriage was supposed begin, where we bought our first home with the red kitchen I swooned over, the dream job teaching incredible kids at the high school, the church I said my vows in, the town I was ripped from three years prior. Needless to say as I entered Cabot I realized I had emotions with which I had never come to terms.

The funny thing is I never had a reason to come back to Cabot, but nearly three years ago God placed this amazing friend in my life, and her husband in my Zach’s life, and one year ago they left us and moved to…. You guessed it, Cabot.

The trip this past weekend was not one meant to help me come to terms with anything, except maybe how to properly ride a zip line, but through quiet conversation, loud boys, hot coffee, and one drive to a beautiful house I will never live in, I let go.

I didn’t even know I needed to let go, and I really didn’t expect it to be this hard. As I walked the perimeter of a house we own I cried. I cried as I mourned a life I never got to live, neighbors I never got to know, and memories that were never made… I said goodbye to the life I had been holding onto for three years, and knew that that life was never mine. While our plan was Cabot, it was not God’s.

“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” Jeremiah 29:11

The weekend reignited hard memories, but it also filled me with the knowledge of the blessings I have in the life God has planned for me.  The life I am living is all in God’s plans. If I am truly trusting my heavenly Father, I must let go of my past, because it is dragging me down, and keeping me from fully living out God’s plans for my family, my marriage, and my life!

As I drove away this time, I was not mournful or bitter; instead I was just bummed to be driving away from my friend. Good thing about friends, you can always make plans to see them again soon! Even better thing about letting go of bitterness and sadness, it makes room for joy!

“Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure.” Psalm 16:9

Friday, December 7, 2012

In the still of the night

The life of a military wife is sometimes one of loneliness and solitude. While yes, there are usually other wives going through similar situations, or having gone through them before, there are still moments that you just feel alone. Late at night, after the kids have gone to sleep, dishes have been done (or not sometimes), you climb into bed and look at the other half of the bed that you long to have occupied by your husband. You close your eyes ready for sleep, but sometimes sleep doesn't come. Sometimes rest alludes you for hours. You occupy your sleepless night with TV, Facebook, reading books, anything to keep you from reminding yourself you're alone. Yep, it's lonely.


What if I didn't occupy my time with meaningless activities? What if instead I occupied my time embracing the quiet and reflecting on my day, my kids, my husband, my God? Even when we feel lonely, we are not alone. We can call on our gracious Heavenly Father and allow him to comfort us. 

"Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted." Psalm 25:16

When I begin to think about a long time away from my husband I become overwhelmed with the looming thought of how lonely it will be, and I lose focus on the opportunity I have been given. I have an opportunity to lean on the Lord in a tangible real way. I have been in bed at night and called on God to comfort me in my loneliness. I have prayed aloud for sleep to come, and rest to come over me. I have held a crying baby in my arms at 3am and begged God to be near me. When your partner isn't near, you begin to learn the meaning of "relying on the Lord" in a whole new way.

“I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.” Psalm 121:1-2

It's not easy. But, as believers we know this life isn't meant to be easy. I have my moments of self-pity and self-doubt just like the next person, but as I reflect on the areas in which the Lord has taught me and grown me, I look at the loneliness a little differently. I see my time apart from my husband, whether it's an overnight trip or a 6 month deployment, as an opportunity I should squander or wish away. Instead, I should use the time to look for what the Lord wants to teach me, because He can. He can teach me something as simple as I am never alone. I can call on Him and find strength, comfort, company, fellowship. . . The list goes on and on. 

"So do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

I do not like being alone. I miss my husband. My kids miss their dad. This is our season of life, and sometimes we have to walk through things like deployments. When we believe in Jesus Christ, and all of the promises God has given us through Him and the Holy Spirit, we are given a precious gift to be in His presence, and find comfort in His arms. 

Monday, September 24, 2012

Being Molded

I am currently reading through the study Jonah: Navigating a Life Interrupted by Priscilla Shirer. I see Jonah, so much more clearly, because at moments it is as though I am looking in a mirror. I too have run in the opposite direction of the Lord, and for less noble reasons than Jonah. Out of stubbornness, anger, frustration, I have chosen in the past to do it “my way,” and when that didn’t work I refused to ask for God’s help, because I wanted to prove I could get myself out of my own mess.

Guess what? I couldn’t. The harder I dug my heels in, the deeper my hole became, and the darker things were around me.

There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death. Proverbs 14:12

I currently have a baby, who is on his way to being a toddler, and his new “trick” is to arch his back, and stiffen his body when I try to put him in the car seat. Have you ever tried to put a toddler in a car seat when he/she didn’t want to go in it?  It isn’t easy. In fact, it is significantly harder than you would imagine considering how small they are compared to you. This is a similar situation when we harden and stiffen our hearts to when God is trying to teach us, point us in His direction. We don’t “want” to go to Ninevah, whatever/wherever that may be. It doesn’t fit into our plans, and so we arch our back, stiffen our bodies and say, “No, I don’t want to!” The difference is, God is much more powerful than us, but will not force us. He may discipline us, He may send us conviction through the Holy Spirit, or remind us to listen to Him through scripture or friends, but he will not force us the way we can force our toddler into the car seat. Instead, when we humbly submit to God’s will, He receives us. Even after Jonah fled in the opposite direction of where God wanted him to go, Jonah called out to God, and God heard him.

He said: "In my distress I called to the LORD, and he answered me.” Jonah 2:2

God hears us when we call to Him. He does not leave us nor forsake us. We just have to submit to Him, and allow Him to show us His path for us. “Open communication is one of the first signs of a heart being molded by God.” (Shirer, 65) How much easier will it be for God to mold me, if I don’t stiffen and harden, throw myself back in a fit, when he sets me on His path for me?

Monday, August 13, 2012

Making Himself known...

I believe conversations like this next one should always start with, "Everyone is ok, but..." So, everyone is ok, but the kids were in a car accident with their dad Friday afternoon. It was pretty serious. The car flipped/rolled and is totaled. When I heard this news my heart skipped a couple beats and I immediately began silently praising God for taking care of the kids, as I listened to the story about a patch of gravel, coming too fast around a curve. By the grace of God they walked about remotely unharmed. Sissy suffered a rash from the seat belt/airbag combination, and Bubba had a few nicks from the glass after climbing out of the vehicle window.

The kids were obviously shaken, but I couldn't have been more proud of how they handled their fears. Bubba told me as soon as they started to roll he was scared and knew he needed help. "Mommy, I was scared, but I asked God to help us, and He DID!" At 8 years old, Bubba saw God's hand protecting him and his family. He said this with such conviction and assurance.

Later that evening I called to check on them before bedtime.  I told them I had been praying prayers of thanksgiving that God had kept them safe. Bubba replied, "I know. I am still nervous and shaky, but I can't stop telling Him thank you."  Bubba knew without a shadow of a doubt he was not alone in his fear.

The hardest part of summer for me is the extended time I have to spend away from Sissy and Bubba. The time I am not "in control." The times I cannot kiss their booboos and assure them that everything is going to be ok. The times I am not there to remind them to give thanks where thanks is due. This event reminded me of a couple of things.

Firstly, I am NEVER in control. As much as I like to be, and sometimes think I am. God has a divine plan, and sometimes I am not "in on it." This is where my faith in His Grace, His Goodness, and Him being WAY smarter than me comes into focus. "I believe in God the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth." Therefore, I believe He is ultimately in control, and I trust His leadership through this life for me and my family.

Secondly, when you "train a child in the way he should go, when he is old he will not turn from it." Now, Sissy and Bubba are far from old, but I was not there to pray aloud to lead them, or remind them to thank God for His protection; however, God was there reminding them that He was with them. Bubba knew from teachings he has experienced that God is who you call on for help, protection, strength, and when he is fearful.

I am so grateful for God's protection over my children Friday. I am even more thankful that He is making himself known to them, so as they get older their faith will not be shaken.