Friday, December 7, 2012

In the still of the night

The life of a military wife is sometimes one of loneliness and solitude. While yes, there are usually other wives going through similar situations, or having gone through them before, there are still moments that you just feel alone. Late at night, after the kids have gone to sleep, dishes have been done (or not sometimes), you climb into bed and look at the other half of the bed that you long to have occupied by your husband. You close your eyes ready for sleep, but sometimes sleep doesn't come. Sometimes rest alludes you for hours. You occupy your sleepless night with TV, Facebook, reading books, anything to keep you from reminding yourself you're alone. Yep, it's lonely.


What if I didn't occupy my time with meaningless activities? What if instead I occupied my time embracing the quiet and reflecting on my day, my kids, my husband, my God? Even when we feel lonely, we are not alone. We can call on our gracious Heavenly Father and allow him to comfort us. 

"Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted." Psalm 25:16

When I begin to think about a long time away from my husband I become overwhelmed with the looming thought of how lonely it will be, and I lose focus on the opportunity I have been given. I have an opportunity to lean on the Lord in a tangible real way. I have been in bed at night and called on God to comfort me in my loneliness. I have prayed aloud for sleep to come, and rest to come over me. I have held a crying baby in my arms at 3am and begged God to be near me. When your partner isn't near, you begin to learn the meaning of "relying on the Lord" in a whole new way.

“I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.” Psalm 121:1-2

It's not easy. But, as believers we know this life isn't meant to be easy. I have my moments of self-pity and self-doubt just like the next person, but as I reflect on the areas in which the Lord has taught me and grown me, I look at the loneliness a little differently. I see my time apart from my husband, whether it's an overnight trip or a 6 month deployment, as an opportunity I should squander or wish away. Instead, I should use the time to look for what the Lord wants to teach me, because He can. He can teach me something as simple as I am never alone. I can call on Him and find strength, comfort, company, fellowship. . . The list goes on and on. 

"So do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

I do not like being alone. I miss my husband. My kids miss their dad. This is our season of life, and sometimes we have to walk through things like deployments. When we believe in Jesus Christ, and all of the promises God has given us through Him and the Holy Spirit, we are given a precious gift to be in His presence, and find comfort in His arms. 

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